Try to be patient with yourself as you experiment with different strategies.
Be open and receptive to forgiveness. Make a conscious decision to forgive your spouse. When images of the betrayal or hurt flash in your mind, think of a calming place or do something to distract yourself from dwelling on those thoughts. Don't throw an error or mistake back in your spouse's face at a later date; don't use it as ammunition in an argument.
Don't seek revenge or retribution; trying to get even will only extend the pain and chances are good that this won't really make you feel better anyway. Accept that you may never know the reason for the transgression, behavior, or mistake. Remember that forgiveness does not mean that you condone the hurtful behavior. Be patient with yourself. Being able to forgive your spouse takes time. Don't try to hurry the process. If you are still unable to forgive, or you find yourself dwelling on the betrayal or hurt, please seek professional counseling to help you let go and forgive.
Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you've caused.
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Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your partner again by repeating the hurtful behavior. Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt.
2 Kinds of Love in Marriage - iMom
Be open to making amends. Be patient with your partner. Being able to forgive you often takes time. Don't dismiss your spouse's feelings of betrayal by telling them to "get over it. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources. A person who is physically abusive needs extensive counseling and rehabilitation. However, no matter how the situation ends, you can still work on forgiveness from the heart.
Have you ever seen a piece of moldy bread? It appears that there is only one ruined area, but if you were to look at the bread through a microscope, you would see long roots spreading throughout the slice.
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Bitterness grows the same way. One little bit of bitterness can start to spread throughout your heart and contaminate your whole body. It will start to manifest itself in your attitude, demeanor, and even your health. In addition, the spreading can also affect your children and your family. When you allow bitterness into your life, it extends to your family, your church body, and everyone else involved in your life. You may feel like there is little hope left for your marriage relationship. With God, all things are possible Matthew Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
We have the power to forgive because Christ forgave us, and He gives us strength through the Holy Spirit. If you can let them go, then do so. You may want to physically scratch off each one that you can forgive as an act of faith. Then for those transgressions that are left, ask God to give you the strength to talk to your spouse about them. Before talking to your spouse, let him or her know that you plan to set aside some undistracted time for you to talk about some issues.
As you talk, keep the discussion productive. Start by confessing your own sins to your spouse. Then talk about your hurts.
2 Kinds of Love in Marriage
Make sure your spouse knows that someone else will be there. Once you begin, your spouse may deny the behavior or even become irritated. But the object of the discussion is to expose the wounds, not to accuse. Keep love the main motivator of your communication. You cannot change your spouse—only God can.
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When your mind starts to wander and you begin to dwell on the incident and the hurt it caused you, tell yourself to stop. Deciding to truly forgive your husband is re-committing to your relationship. Just deciding to forgive will not strip away all of the pain. Go back to step 4 when you need to, and keep choosing to forgive.
5 Steps to Forgiveness in Marriage
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Share your hurt. Plan for change. Stop the video. Click To Tweet.